Beginning to feel like I can’t cope anymore ...

Relaxation is something I no longer feel and it’s 3 weeks until Christmas a time I love and all

I feel is fear, worry and I’m tired!

I’m fightenend daily what I will find and given that he burnt himself again it’s hard not to worry!

I’m petrified and it’s draining me I am no longer fun 😢

Worries about finances and how the hell im going to manage already in the red and food bank when I eventually get a voucher !! How hard they make it for people really has made me think and feel sad that it’s come to this! Not only embarrassing but I just can’t fathom how why etc

Tired... well my brain is 24/7 even asleep I’m dreaming of crap I watch TV and oh look Eastenders Max Nranning self harming .... I can’t not get away from it... and then the guilt

I should not even think that way but when several people tell you that they haven’t seen you for ages and you reply oh been busy hibernating and the reply is that’s not good makes You very boring then I can’t help but agree!

My friends wedding was beautiful she looked stunning and was such a good day. Overshadowed by my fear will he drink to much, I better not go dance as I need to keep an eye on him, and then exhaustion ....

He is a lot better than he was on the new medication that’s a fact but with the SH still looking around I can’t and don’t think I ever will relax and enjoy things like I used to and that’s down to me not him x

Love Always

Me x